


Blank Stares

by toooldtotrickortreat



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Sexual, Not Beta Read, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Showers, We Die Like Men, basically before they move in together, god knows i want one, i don't have an even tho, it's a lot of old issues i once had, showering together, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 00:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18560377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toooldtotrickortreat/pseuds/toooldtotrickortreat
Summary: Isak is struggling. Even helps.





	Blank Stares

Water from the showerhead hit the back of Isak’s neck as he stood under the spray. His breath left him in heavy pants as he tried to reign his rapid heartbeat under control.

He knew Eskild was worried, having seen his soulless movements through the hall from his bedroom to the bathroom. There had been a detour to the kitchen where Isak had stood blankly for 30 seconds before leaving.

Eskild had watched it all from the couch, pretending to be scrolling through Grindr on his phone when really he was staring at Isak’s dark eye bags, as if Isak’s lethargic movements weren’t evidence enough of his lack of sleep.

Isak didn't know what was wrong. He just felt empty. Well, mostly. There was the slightest niggling feeling of dread at the back of his throat, ready to burst into full-on anxiety if Isak were to push the numbness away.

He really had no desire to.

So he stood under the shower spray, wondering if the pressure and almost blistering heat (just shy of being too hot, though Isak had no energy to cool it down) of the water would be enough to wash away the rings from under his eyes and the terrible, uncontrollable apathy from his brain. It really wasn’t, but nevertheless he stood there.

Some indeterminable amount of time passed before there was a gentle but persistent knock on the bathroom door. “Isak?” a voice called. Even. Eskild must have called him for backup.

Isak lifted a weak hand and turned off the shower. “Hmm?” he responded, not knowing if he had been loud enough for Even to hear.

“Are you done in there?” Even called softly. So he must’ve heard. Isak could imagine Even leaning his weight against the door, hand still held up against it from knocking. “Can I come in?”

Isak didn’t respond this time, instead slouching against the tiled wall and lowering his head, closing his eyes to tiny slits. Something in the corner of his brain told him to be ashamed, but it wasn’t big enough to deny Even entry.

“...I’m coming in, okay?” Even hesitated, but upon hearing no response he slowly eased the door open. Upon seeing Isak, he sighed. Even shucked off his beanie and outer layer due to the heat created by the steam of the too-hot shower and tossed them onto the floor. Slowly, he approached Isak, who made no effort to move or even look as Even gently placed a cool palm on his cheek and stroked underneath his eye with his thumb.

“What’s going on?” Even whispered, repeating the movement. It was enough to release the tension in Isak’s shoulders but not ease any of his emotional issues.

Isak gave a half-hearted shrug but raised his gaze to meet Even’s. When his lips didn’t so much as twitch, Even pressed his own together and dropped his hand.

“Do you want me to get in with you?” Even asked softly. It was something they had done at the tail-end of Even’s first depressive episode when he had enough energy to stand but not quite to wash himself. Isak had done it for him, and it had been more than pleasant for them both.

Isak shrugged again but inclined his head as well. Even nodded back and made quick work of locking the door and removing his clothes before stepping into the tub. He played with the water temperature for several moments, adjusting it to be just right, then lowered his arms.

For a period, they simply stood facing each other, Isak’s back to the water and Even facing it. It was a few minutes before Even spoke.

“Turn around,” he guided softly, turning Isak by his shoulders. Finally, Isak looked at him with some slight emotion; suspicion. “I’m just going to wash your hair,” he assured softly. It took Isak a few seconds to process this before he turned willingly. He closed his eyes as Even began to massage shampoo into his mildly greasy hair, swaying slightly in whatever direction Even’s hands on his scalp pushed him.

It definitely wasn’t necessary how long Even took to wash Isak’s hair but it was certainly appreciated. It felt as if a blanket had been pulled away from covering Isak’s whole body. He began to feel more awake but with this came an onslaught of unwelcome emotions.

He turned quickly as Even just finished rinsing Isak’s hair and rushed forward, burying his face into the crook of Even’s neck and leaning his weight into him. Even took this in stride, immediately rinsing his soapy hands and wrapping his arms around Isak’s waist to pull him closer.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Isak murmured, the bass of his voice reverberating through Even’s torso. “Nothing even _happened_ . I don’t … there’s no reason for me to … to _feel_ like this. It’s _so bad_ . My chest just … _hurts_. But … not like _pain_ … but it still _hurts_.”

“I know,” Even cooed, kissing Isak’s freshly-washed hair, lifting a hand to bury in the wet locks and scratch gently across the back of his scalp. This caused Isak to further melt into him. A tear fell down Isak’s cheek onto Even’s collarbone and was soon followed by more. If Even noticed, he didn’t say anything, just continued his comfort.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Even continued, rocking the two of them on his feet. “Me being bipolar doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. Whatever’s going on in your brain doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Okay?”

Isak breathed heavily, nearly choking on a sob. Even surely noticed that, if the slight tightening of the grip around Isak’s waist was anything to go by. “Okay,” he whispered back.

“Good,” Even smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Isak’s cheek. “We’ll get through this, alright? Together.”

One corner of Isak's mouth quirked upwards slightly as he nodded into Even’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Together.”

 

* * *

 

Eskild watched from the kitchen as Isak and Even settled down together on the couch in the living room a long time after Even had joined Isak in the bathroom. They were pressed together with Isak using Even’s shoulder as a pillow, Even’s arm stretched around him and softly stroking Isak’s side. Isak wasn’t smiling, still looking drained, but he certainly seemed less tense. Eskild let out a silent breath of relief.

When Isak fell asleep during whatever pretentious film Even had decided to play only a few minutes later, Eskild smiled, knowing he’d made the right decision to call Even.

**Author's Note:**

> currently watching øyevitne which is a wild ride i'm only two episodes in tho
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed this shameless fluff. i'm thinking about writing something with more focus on eskild because i love him lemme know if you like that idea or have any suggestions
> 
> i'm so cheesy but alt er love <3  
> (i'm gay leave me alone)


End file.
